After Autumn comes Winter which is then followed by Spring. Somewhere in Spring there is that infamous Shift: I can no longer hide my feet in pretty tights and shoes but will have to bare my legs and show off varnished toe nails in pretty sandals.
The problem is that after a looooong period (I live in rainy Amsterdam after all) of cold, I tend to forget I have feet at all. By the time the weather has kindly reminded me of them, I stare of them in horror. Are those cracked and rock hard really extremeties mine? Can I swap with someone else? The answer to those questions is usually yes and nooo.
But fear not as this year all is different and Spring is greeted with a tender smile towards my feet. Yes, I have discovered the Footner. What is the Footner, I hear you ask. Well, it’s a pair of plastic sock filled with a magic gel which you will have to put on one time for just one hour, while reading a nice book about an old man and the sea. As Santiago falls back to sleep and you can put Hemingway away, take off your socks (I usually wrap a towel around them, as I always think that heat makes things work better, like it makes humans happier) and wash your feet. Tadaaa! Your feet will feel soft again.
The only downside is that the story doesn’t end here so please do not forget to put on your Footner before the Feet Shift comes. After a few days your feet will start crumbling like parmigiano, depending on how much dead, coarse, calloused skin you have. all the dead, coarse, calloused skin will peel off in large pieces, revealing soft, young-looking feet. Please do wear socks in bed or keep the hoover next to it. Also remember not to put your feet on tables or walk around with bare feet.
Wait one to two weeks and the result will be soft, young-looking feet. Seriously. I could not remember seeing my feet pink, ever.